A Lightening Load
I am in Melbourne, at last, and enjoying it in many ways. There is this awesome freedom just hanging out with friends (or for now, it's mainly Clara =) - a freedom with tremendous spillover effects, ie. I will write normally and not gargle out some post which leaves some friends going - Huh?
heheheh
Suddenly all these pressures which have been building up so consistently over the past few weeks in Singapore are now slipping away. And my body which has been reacting against all this is gradually healing, with God's grace and mercy no less. Reading Spurgeon's devotional today which was based on Philippians 4:11 -
'I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content'
To be content indeed for I have put so much on myself and focused on my circumstances that I have become doubtless overwhelmed. So allow me to meditate on this Scripture. Spurgeon begins by saying: 'These words show us that contentment is not a natural propensity of man.' How true! I keep on thinking that things should and will get better. How can I better improve my lot in life? Has something slipped my mind which is actually really important? Is contentment the best state to be in? I have grown so accustomed to expecting a something more that being content seems like a paler, weaker cousin by comparison. Achieve! Expect! Demand! And it doesn't get too easy for me, considering how I'm a person wired to get things done efficiently as best as possible.
I know I have to erase what I have grown used to and embark on a new journey of learning. Somehow I find it easier to be content in Melbourne than in Singapore. Why? Is it because I really started on a fresh clean slate here and that's how I associated life in Melbourne with myself? But should the differences matter? I don't want to respond in such vastly different ways to myself just because of location.
He remains the same wherever I am. A constant Who teaches me what it is to be content, whichever the place, people, time, emotional/physical/mental/spiritual states I am in. And that IS comforting because many times we don't know how to comfort ourselves. Even when left in the hands of those who know and love us the most in this world, sometimes somethings don't come through. Save He. Save He indeed.
Yet I am glad I am back here. Hiatus perhaps? Pause perhaps? What I need is a Selah moment. Make that an extended Selah moment - precious time with my best Friend. Cruising along the freeway back to the city I feel I am familiar ground. The concrete barricades along the roads, the trees hunched by harsh Melburnian winds, the cloudy skies... somehow, I am home.
While the apartment hasn't appeared yet and there are bills here and there to be settled, I know He has everything settled. All these responsibilities are but responsibilities I know will be handled anyway. [He knows me, the planner and get-evverything-sorted-out one] But there are the emotions, the thoughts, all that no one else understands in all their individualised complexity which He knows full well. And that is comforting, so reassuring and healing in the nature of their encompassing knowledge.
And the most comforting thing of all is His presence. This is honestly something I am still trying to grasp in all its beautiful entirety. Why? because oftentimes I hear my voice before I hear His. heh. Yet above all I believe that being in Melbourne is a blessing. As they sing:
So blessed! I can't contain it
So much I gotta give it away
Your love taught me to live now
You are more than enough for me!
The load's lightening, my smile's brightening, this heart knowledge is enlightening.
heheheh
Suddenly all these pressures which have been building up so consistently over the past few weeks in Singapore are now slipping away. And my body which has been reacting against all this is gradually healing, with God's grace and mercy no less. Reading Spurgeon's devotional today which was based on Philippians 4:11 -
'I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content'
To be content indeed for I have put so much on myself and focused on my circumstances that I have become doubtless overwhelmed. So allow me to meditate on this Scripture. Spurgeon begins by saying: 'These words show us that contentment is not a natural propensity of man.' How true! I keep on thinking that things should and will get better. How can I better improve my lot in life? Has something slipped my mind which is actually really important? Is contentment the best state to be in? I have grown so accustomed to expecting a something more that being content seems like a paler, weaker cousin by comparison. Achieve! Expect! Demand! And it doesn't get too easy for me, considering how I'm a person wired to get things done efficiently as best as possible.
I know I have to erase what I have grown used to and embark on a new journey of learning. Somehow I find it easier to be content in Melbourne than in Singapore. Why? Is it because I really started on a fresh clean slate here and that's how I associated life in Melbourne with myself? But should the differences matter? I don't want to respond in such vastly different ways to myself just because of location.
He remains the same wherever I am. A constant Who teaches me what it is to be content, whichever the place, people, time, emotional/physical/mental/spiritual states I am in. And that IS comforting because many times we don't know how to comfort ourselves. Even when left in the hands of those who know and love us the most in this world, sometimes somethings don't come through. Save He. Save He indeed.
Yet I am glad I am back here. Hiatus perhaps? Pause perhaps? What I need is a Selah moment. Make that an extended Selah moment - precious time with my best Friend. Cruising along the freeway back to the city I feel I am familiar ground. The concrete barricades along the roads, the trees hunched by harsh Melburnian winds, the cloudy skies... somehow, I am home.
While the apartment hasn't appeared yet and there are bills here and there to be settled, I know He has everything settled. All these responsibilities are but responsibilities I know will be handled anyway. [He knows me, the planner and get-evverything-sorted-out one] But there are the emotions, the thoughts, all that no one else understands in all their individualised complexity which He knows full well. And that is comforting, so reassuring and healing in the nature of their encompassing knowledge.
And the most comforting thing of all is His presence. This is honestly something I am still trying to grasp in all its beautiful entirety. Why? because oftentimes I hear my voice before I hear His. heh. Yet above all I believe that being in Melbourne is a blessing. As they sing:
So blessed! I can't contain it
So much I gotta give it away
Your love taught me to live now
You are more than enough for me!
The load's lightening, my smile's brightening, this heart knowledge is enlightening.
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