A willing anhedonia
I remember those years of 'fun' I had when I was younger and more wilful. I do not see regard my then-self as foolish, wasted or stupid. I was none of those. But now I realise I simply wanted more.
Am I somehow grateful I went through the experience of clubbing? Well you do not have to club to find out you do not like it, and hence boast to others that through personal experience you realise clubbing is 'not my thing'. That is really nonsense.
My friend once said that she ever did think about smoking a cigarette just to be able to tell others that she has tried it and can assuredly say it is not her thing.
You do not have to experience something to say it is not what you will ever do. Drugs for one, getting drunk for another, and having abortion amongst others.
I probably clubbed a total of about 10 times in my entire life. That is, to some a significant lot, to others a paltry few. To me, it was almost enough to know what I wanted for myself. I do not mean that I had to club in order to arrive at any point of self-realisation.
Are such experiences pleasurable? No. The process itself was never fully pleasurable and the end results certainly weren't.
Which makes me wonder why we go through such tedious lengths to justify or defend our reasons for doing such and such. We definitely do not need to justify the good. As for the bad...
Why do you smoke? Why do you consume excessive amounts of alcohol? Why do you try to lose all inhibitions through substance consumption?
Some say you reveal the true you when you're drunk or high or in other unknown states of being. I am convinced that the real you is when you are fully conscious of where you stand and what you are saying or doing. Anything esle is mediated escapism. If you cannot, in your normal conscious state, affirm who you are, can an unnatural external matter help others understand who you are?
I say others because when you have lost control over yourself, you are no longer in control. It is worse when you cede control to something or someone which/who does not intend any good for you.
Give up smoking. Give up drinking. Give up clubbing. Give up drugs. Give up over-shopping and over-eating. Don't you ever wanted pleasures which are more pleasurable than these? Or are these pleasures all you ever desired and hoped to live with?
Am I somehow grateful I went through the experience of clubbing? Well you do not have to club to find out you do not like it, and hence boast to others that through personal experience you realise clubbing is 'not my thing'. That is really nonsense.
My friend once said that she ever did think about smoking a cigarette just to be able to tell others that she has tried it and can assuredly say it is not her thing.
You do not have to experience something to say it is not what you will ever do. Drugs for one, getting drunk for another, and having abortion amongst others.
I probably clubbed a total of about 10 times in my entire life. That is, to some a significant lot, to others a paltry few. To me, it was almost enough to know what I wanted for myself. I do not mean that I had to club in order to arrive at any point of self-realisation.
Are such experiences pleasurable? No. The process itself was never fully pleasurable and the end results certainly weren't.
Which makes me wonder why we go through such tedious lengths to justify or defend our reasons for doing such and such. We definitely do not need to justify the good. As for the bad...
Why do you smoke? Why do you consume excessive amounts of alcohol? Why do you try to lose all inhibitions through substance consumption?
Some say you reveal the true you when you're drunk or high or in other unknown states of being. I am convinced that the real you is when you are fully conscious of where you stand and what you are saying or doing. Anything esle is mediated escapism. If you cannot, in your normal conscious state, affirm who you are, can an unnatural external matter help others understand who you are?
I say others because when you have lost control over yourself, you are no longer in control. It is worse when you cede control to something or someone which/who does not intend any good for you.
Give up smoking. Give up drinking. Give up clubbing. Give up drugs. Give up over-shopping and over-eating. Don't you ever wanted pleasures which are more pleasurable than these? Or are these pleasures all you ever desired and hoped to live with?
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